A very interesting story in the New York Post this week talks about how women in New York are foregoing sex in favor of a celibate life because it is more rewarding than waking up all the time to men who don’t know their names.
“Not having sex is like giving up junk food,” says [Katie Lee] Arnold. “Sex in New York for me had become like the 99-cent package of Ding Dongs on the corner.”
Celibacy is truly a rebellious act since it goes directly against the culture. The HBO hit show “Sex and the City” (SATC) about four single women and their various outside-of-marriage sexual escapades has become the standard to which women compare themselves. Which SATC girl are you quizzes? are plentiful online, asking women if they prefer “Wham-bam-thank you ma’am quickies?” to the “A little dirty talk and some lively role-playing?” What kind of message does this send to women and the men who pursue them? Not a good one.
Celibacy, and its closely related cousin, the virtue of Chastity, is not something our culture looks kindly upon, yet it’s what the Catholic Church has espoused since the beginning. A Church teaching that’s against the culture, you ask? Really? God truly knows what is good for us, even though it may be unpopular.
From the Catechism of the Catholic Church 2339: “Chastity includes an apprenticeship in self-mastery which is a training in human freedom. The alternative is clear: either man governs his passions and finds peace, or he lets himself be dominated by them and becomes unhappy.”
The New York Post article doesn’t say whether these women have any religious tendencies but they are on the right track. But on a practical level, what to do with that sexual energy that’s not going where it used to go?
“I totally sublimate all of my sexual energy into making wedding dresses because I feel like I need something constructive to channel my energy into,” says Colette Komm, a 28-year-old couture designer who lives on the Upper West Side.
Another woman decided to channel her energy into writing. There are lots of things to channel that energy – train for a marathon, take up a new hobby, write letters to your grandparents, pray the Rosary, volunteer, take a bike ride…..
Celibacy until marriage is a great thing. You may be surprised how rewarding it is.
So go ahead – be a rebel.
