St Michael Society

Dear Gabby,

 I have a serious question but don’t even know really where to start it.  My cousin told me her and her boyfriend confronted her son about whether or not he was a homosexual and turns out he admitted he was.  She told him it didn’t matter if he was and that she loved him no matter what.  She told me about it and also and I praised her for loving her son unconditionally but that I could not condone his homosexuality. Needless to say, she got very upset with me and our relationship became almost non-existent.  We got past it and started chatting again.  Then, she was watching a show called Sex and the City and I told her my husband calls the show Sluts in the City and she really did not like that and told us we are seriously wrong about the show and that her and her girlfriends go out on the town and I guess relates their actions to the actions of the people on this show.  Well, we no longer talk.  Her brother no longer talks to me and her mom doesn’t either.  They are my family.  Was I wrong in telling her either of these things?  What, as Catholics, are we to say to family and friends about things like these?  Nothing?  Tolerate it?  Or, do what I did?  I am unsure.  Thank you.

Maria Mendoza
Dear Maria,

Thank you for the tough questions. I’ll try to answer them separately.

The Catholic Church strives to be considerate and compassionate in its approach to the issue of homosexuality. Every human being is made in the image and likeness of God and therefore holds a unique and special dignity, no matter what their sexual preference is. The Church recognizes homosexual desires as disordered. However, the Catechism of the Catholic Church states: “Men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies . . . must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided.” (2358)

Because homosexual acts are regarded as “intrinsically disordered” and against natural law, the Catechism states that “[Homosexual acts] close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved.” (2357) So condoning homosexuality itself is different than supporting homosexual acts.

Of course you can love your cousin and her son but condoning homosexual acts themselves is against Church law.

Regarding your question about what to say regarding television shows that support behavior contrary to Church teachings – today’s culture seems to praise everything against Church teachings like promiscuous behavior, abortion, gay marriage, artificial contraception, and the like while condemning actions that Catholics are intended to follow like chastity and traditional marriage.

A quote often attributed to St. Francis of Assisi is “Preach the Gospel always, and if necessary, use words.” Your actions will speak to your beliefs and while we are called to preach Church teachings, we should remember to do it compassionately and with love.

Hope this helps.

For Him,
Gabby

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