New Dear Gabby: A gay family member and culture wars

Dear Gabby,

 I have a serious question but don’t even know really where to start it.  My cousin told me her and her boyfriend confronted her son about whether or not he was a homosexual and turns out he admitted he was.  She told him it didn’t matter if he was and that she loved him no matter what.  She told me about it and also and I praised her for loving her son unconditionally but that I could not condone his homosexuality. Needless to say, she got very upset with me and our relationship became almost non-existent.  We got past it and started chatting again.  Then, she was watching a show called Sex and the City and I told her my husband calls the show Sluts in the City and she really did not like that and told us we are seriously wrong about the show and that her and her girlfriends go out on the town and I guess relates their actions to the actions of the people on this show.  Well, we no longer talk.  Her brother no longer talks to me and her mom doesn’t either.  They are my family.  Was I wrong in telling her either of these things?  What, as Catholics, are we to say to family and friends about things like these?  Nothing?  Tolerate it?  Or, do what I did?  I am unsure.  Thank you.

Maria Mendoza
Dear Maria,

Thank you for the tough questions. I’ll try to answer them separately.

The Catholic Church strives to be considerate and compassionate in its approach to the issue of homosexuality. Every human being is made in the image and likeness of God and therefore holds a unique and special dignity, no matter what their sexual preference is. The Church recognizes homosexual desires as disordered. However, the Catechism of the Catholic Church states: “Men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies . . . must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided.” (2358)

Because homosexual acts are regarded as “intrinsically disordered” and against natural law, the Catechism states that “[Homosexual acts] close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved.” (2357) So condoning homosexuality itself is different than supporting homosexual acts.

Of course you can love your cousin and her son but condoning homosexual acts themselves is against Church law.

Regarding your question about what to say regarding television shows that support behavior contrary to Church teachings – today’s culture seems to praise everything against Church teachings like promiscuous behavior, abortion, gay marriage, artificial contraception, and the like while condemning actions that Catholics are intended to follow like chastity and traditional marriage.

A quote often attributed to St. Francis of Assisi is “Preach the Gospel always, and if necessary, use words.” Your actions will speak to your beliefs and while we are called to preach Church teachings, we should remember to do it compassionately and with love.

Hope this helps.

For Him,
Gabby

 Have a question for Gabby? Send to stmichaelsociety@gmail.com.

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What the Pope Really Said on Condom Use


Does the Pope approve the use of condoms?
Jenn Giroux
November 21, 2010

The media is at it again.
They are trying to say that the Pope approves the use of condoms

Below Professor Janet E.Smith. provides explanation and clarification of the Pope’s comments:

Conversion, Not Condoms

Pope Benedict on Condoms in the Light of the World (p. 119)
In Light of the World, these answers appear:

To the charge that “It is madness to forbid a high-risk population to use condoms,” Pope Benedict replied (This paragraph is at the end of an extended answer on the help the Church is giving the Aids victims and the need to fight the banalization of sexuality.):

    “There may be a basis in the case of some individuals, as perhaps when a male prostitute uses a condom, where this can be a first step in the direction of a moralization, a first assumption of responsibility, on the way toward recovering an awareness that not everything is allowed and that one cannot do whatever one wants. But it is not really the way to deal with the evil of HIV infection. That can really lie only in a humanization of sexuality.”

Are you saying, then, that the Catholic Church is actually not opposed in principle to the use of condoms?

    “She of course does not regard it as a real or moral solution, but, in this or that case, there can be nonetheless, in the intention of reducing the risk of infection, a first step in a movement toward a different way, a more human way, of living sexuality.”

Commentary:

What is Pope Benedict saying?

We must note that the example that Pope Benedict gives for the use of a condom is by a male prostitute; thus, it is a reasonable to assume that he is referring to a male prostitute engaged in homosexual acts. The Holy Father is simply observing that for some homosexual prostitutes the use of a condom may indicate an awakening of a moral sense; an awakening that sexual pleasure is not the highest value but that we must take care that we harm no one with our choices. He is not speaking to the morality of the use of a condom but to something that may be true about the psychological state of those who use them. If such individuals are using condoms to avoid harming another, they may eventually realize that sexual acts between members of the same sex are inherently harmful since they are not in accord with human nature. The Holy Father does not in any way think the use of condoms is a part of the solution to reducing the risk of Aids. As he explicitly states, the true solution involves “humanizing sexuality.”

Anyone having sex that threatens to transmit the HIV needs to grow in moral discernment. This is why Benedict focused on a “first step” in moral growth. The Church is always going to be focused on moving people away from immoral acts towards love of Jesus, virtue and holiness. We can say that the Holy Father clearly did not want to make a point about condoms but wants to talk about growth in a moral sense, which should be a growth towards Jesus.

So is the Holy Father saying it is morally good for male prostitutes to use condoms?

The Holy Father is not articulating a teaching of the Church about whether or not the use of a condom reduces the amount of evil in a homosexual sexual act that threatens to transmit the HIV. The Church has no formal teaching about how to reduce the evil of intrinsically immoral action. We must note that what is intrinsically wrong in a homosexual sexual act in which a condom is used is not the moral wrong of contraception but the homosexual act itself. In the case of homosexual sexual activity, a condom does not act as a contraceptive; it is not possible for homosexuals to contracept since their sexual activity has no procreative power that can be thwarted. But the Holy Father is not making a point about whether the use of a condom is contraceptive or even whether it reduces the evil of a homosexual sexual act; again, he is speaking about the psychological state of some who might use condoms. The intention behind the use of a condom (the desire not to harm another) may indicate some growth in a sense of moral responsibility.

In Familiaris Consortio (On the Role of the Christian Family in the Modern World), Pope John Paul II spoke of the need for conversion which often proceeds by gradual steps:

    To the injustice originating from sin … we must all set ourselves in opposition through a conversion of mind and heart, following Christ Crucified by denying our own selfishness: such a conversion cannot fail to have a beneficial and renewing influence even on the structures of society.

    What is needed is a continuous, permanent conversion which, while requiring an interior detachment from every evil and an adherence to good in its fullness, is brought about concretely in steps which lead us ever forward. Thus a dynamic process develops, one which advances gradually with the progressive integration of the gifts of God and the demands of His definitive and absolute love in the entire personal and social life of man. (9)

Christ himself, of course, called for a turning away from sin. That is what the Holy Father is advocating here; not a turn towards condoms. Conversion, not condoms!

Would it be proper to conclude that the Holy Father would support the distribution of condoms to male prostitutes?

Nothing he says here indicates that he would. Public programs of distribution of condoms run the risk of conveying approval for homosexual sexual acts. The task of the Church is to call individuals to conversion and to moral behaviour; it is to help them understand the meaning and purpose of sexuality and to help them come to know Christ who will provide the healing and graces that enable us to live in accord with the meaning and purpose of sexuality.

Is Pope Benedict indicating that heterosexuals who have the HIV could reduce the wrongness of their acts by using condoms?

No. In his second answer he says that the Church does not find condoms to be a “real or moral solution.” That means the Church does not find condoms either to be moral or an effective way of fighting the transmission of the HIV. As the Holy Father indicates in his fuller answer, the most effective portion of programs designed to reduce the transmission of the HIV are calls to abstinence and fidelity.

The Holy Father, again, is saying that the intention to reduce the transmission of any infection is a “first step” in a movement towards a more human way of living sexuality. That more human way would be to do nothing that threatens to harm one’s sexual partner, who should be one’s beloved spouse. For an individual with the HIV to have sexual intercourse with or without a condom is to risk transmitting a lethal disease.

An analogy:

If someone was going to rob a bank and was determined to use a gun, it would better for that person to use a gun that had no bullets in it. It would reduce the likelihood of fatal injuries. But it is not the task of the Church to instruct potential bank robbers how to rob banks more safely and certainly not the task of the Church to support programs of providing potential bank robbers with guns that could not use bullets. Nonetheless, the intent of a bank robber to rob a bank in a way that is safer for the employees and customers of the bank, may indicate an element of moral responsibility that could be a step towards eventual understanding of the immorality of bank robbing.

Prof Janet E. Smith
Father Michael J. McGivney Chair of Life Ethics
Sacred Heart Major Seminary
Detroit, MI
profjanetsmith@comcast.net
734 883 4080
http://www.aodonline.org/SHMS/Faculty+5819/Janet+Smith+9260/Dr.+Janet+Smith+-+Welcome.htm

Resources:

Edward C. Green, “The Pope May Be Right” Washington Post (Sunday, March 29, 2009); http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/03/27/AR2009032702825.html

Edward C. Green and Allison Herling Ruark, “AIDS and the Churches: Getting the Story Right” First Things (April, 2008) http://www.catholiceducation.org/articles/medical_ethics/me0126.htm

Edward C. Green, Rethinking AIDS Prevention: Learning from Successes in Developing Countries (Praeger: 2003)

Matthew Hanley and Jokin de Irala, Affirming Love, Avoiding AIDS: What Africa Can Teach The West, (National Catholic Bioethics Center, 2009)

Susan E. Wills, “Condoms and AIDS: Is the Pope Right or Just “Horrifically Ignorant?” The Linacre Quarterly, 77:10 (Feb 2010) 17-29.

Edward C Green AIDS, Behavior, and Culture: Understanding Evidence-Based Prevention (Left Coast Press: 2010) forthcoming


Jenn Giroux is the new Executive Director of HLI America, a program of Human Life International. (You can visit HLI America at www.hliamerica.org)

Before joining Human Life International, Jenn was the CEO and Executive Director of One More Soul. Prior to that in 2003, Jenn began Women Influencing the Nation (WIN), an organization dedicated to reclaiming traditional morals in our society with special emphasis on encouraging women to have more children once again in America.

Women Influencing the Nation was heavily involved in supporting the efforts of Former Attorney General Phill Kline in his criminal charges against Planned Parenthood and to enforce the Late Term Abortion Law inside Kansas, the abortion capital of the World. Jenn testified before the Kansas Legislative Committee on September 6, 2007 representing over 5500 petitions asking Kansas official to prosecute George Tiller for doing illegal abortions.

Jenn has been a Registered Nurse for 24 years where she has witnessed first hand the devastating physical, mental, and spiritual fall out from the feminist movement, especially in areas of birth control and abortion. This has been the foundation of her inspiration to form this nationwide network connecting women to counteract the negative impact that the feminist influence has had over the past 40+ years in destroying families.

Jenn was a former radio talk show host with Salem Communications and also worked as Assistant to the President for Citizens for Community Values where she led the Catholic outreach for school presentations to parents on how to keep their children away from Internet Pornography. Jenn has been a regular guest on Catholic Radio to discuss women’s issues in the Church and politics. Jenn has also been seen debating many political and religious issues on MSNBC, CNN, FOX, and COMCAST NEWS NETWORKS.

Jenn regards God’s gift of motherhood as her most important and fulfilling work. She and her husband, Dan, have 9 children. They are the owners of The Catholic Shop and currently live in Cincinnati, Ohio.

© Copyright 2010 by Jenn Giroux
http://www.renewamerica.com/columns/giroux/101121

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Pope Gives Guidance on Elections

The United States isn’t the only country with elections coming up. Earlier today, Pope Benedict XVI met with Bishops in Brazil as the country prepares to vote in a presidential election this weekend.

Even though our Pope was speaking to the bishops in Brazil, what he said can certainly be applied to Catholics in US as we head to the polls this crucial election cycle:

 ”Dear brother bishops, to defend life we must not fear hostility or unpopularity, and we must refuse any compromise or ambiguity which might conform us to the world’s way of thinking.”

 …

Pope Benedict told the Brazilian bishops that while direct involvement in politics is the responsibility of the laity, “when the fundamental rights of the person or the salvation of souls requires it, pastors have a serious duty to make moral judgments even in political matters.”

Certain actions and political policies, such as abortion and euthanasia, are “intrinsically evil and incompatible with human dignity” and cannot be justified for any reason, the pope said.

 …

Bishops and priests have an obligation to help Catholic laity live in a way that that is faithful to the Gospel in every aspect of their lives, including their political choices, he said. “This also means that in certain cases, pastors should remind all citizens of their right and duty to use their vote to promote the common good,” the pope said. (Catholic News Service)

Pope Benedict is right on target. As St. Michael Society has written before, Catholics have a moral duty to vote, and to vote to protect the dignity of the person in all its stages. Like Benedict says, we shouldn’t fear “hostility of unpopularity.” The truth is the truth and it doesn’t matter if it’s unpopular or not.

Vote Catholic next Tuesday.

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Join 40 Days for Life

Pro Life Activists around the world are taking part in 40 days of prayer, fasting, and peaceful vigil to end abortion in America. “40 Days for Life takes a determined, peaceful approach to showing local communities the consequences of abortion in their own neighborhoods, for their own friends and families. It puts into action a desire to cooperate with God in the carrying out of His plan for the end of abortion in America.”

St Michael Society editors attended the Washington, DC kick off rally and spoke with Alina Arias of Silent No More.  She talks about 40 Days For Life, Silent No More and gives advice to anyone thinking about abortion.

Learn more and join 40 Days for Life here: http://www.40daysforlife.com

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So Called Ban on Abortion Funding – Anti-Catholic History – Faith vs Works

I thought there is no public funding of abortion?

I wonder what Sister Carol Keehan, Bart Stupak and all the so-called Catholic health organizations think about U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi receiving an award from abortion giant Planned Parenthood in recognition of her efforts in ensuring that the abortion funding ban was not inserted in ObamaCare. Never mind, I don’t want to know.

History and Catholicsim:

I’m not looking to re-fight the Thirty Years War or defend all the actions of Mary I of England, but this interesting article should remind all Catholics that most of the history books we read are written by people that at their core are anti-catholic. If you like to read a good history of the Catholic Church to recommend Harry Crocker’s book:

Faith vs Works?  I choose Christ.

The New Oxford Review has a wonderful piece by Stephen Rombouts. He takes on the debate between faith versus works and talks about having a “truly personal relationship with Jesus” through the Eucharist.

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Male and Female He Created Them

United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) is launching an educational guide on marriage called Marriage: Unique for a Reason. Here are some details:

Marriage: Unique for a Reason provides resources to assist with the catechesis and education of Catholics on why marriage is unique and why it should be promoted and protected as the union of one man and one woman. The initiative will eventually include five videos with companion viewer’s guides, resource booklets, and an interactive Web site.

Check out the great vidoe here:

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Wellsprings Capable of Bestowing the Water of Life

The news reports out of Rome highlighted that the Pope Benedict XVI “beg[ed] forgiveness from God and from the persons involved, while promising to do everything possible to ensure that such abuse will never occur again.”  The homily delivered at the papal Mass on the feast of the Sacred Heart that marked the end of the Year for Priests was so much more.  Here is the translation:

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Andrea Bocelli: Almost Aborted, Devout Catholic

Award-winning  pro-life blogger Jill Stanek has posted a great piece “Almost Aborted: Tenor Andrea Bocelli .” Her story links to video of the esteemed opera singer sharing his personal connection to abortion, which is both moving and beautiful:

 This is a powerful reminder that every life truly is special and worth fighting for despite difficulty, pain, risk and even “expert” opinion. I’m inspired by Mrs. Bocelli having the courage to continue with her pregnancy even while knowing her child may have a severe disability. Only God could have foreseen that her child would bring so much joy – to her and to millions of people around the globe – through the gift of his voice.

It’s sad to think of how many people like Andrea we are missing today because parents feared a disability for their child and thought it was better to abort. There are so many friends, colleagues and family members we should have in our lives, but don’t. Let Andrea’s story  inspire those facing difficult pregnancies, and remind us to encourage and support those who parent children with disabilities.  God blesses each child with gifts, talents and the ability to touch so many lives regardless of their ability or disability.

This isn’t the first time Bocelli has publicly stood for what he believes in. As a devout Catholic, he declined the invitation from friends Tom Cruise and Katie Holms to sing in their wedding ceremony in 2007 because of his faith. He attended the post-ceremony festivities, but did not join them for the Scientology wedding “because I’m Catholic. I didn’t think it was respectful for my religion to be there.”

What a class act.  Bocelli follows his faith and his heart in a respectful yet assertive way. Hollywood could stand to benefit from a whole lot more than singing lessons from him.

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